Thursday, April 15, 2010

4 months!!!!

"Let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, Give them praise,
Give them love everyday.
Let 'em cry, Let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle.
Aw but let them be little"

-Billy Dean "Let them Be Little"

Oh my Ladybug how you've changed!! It's been 4 full months since that cold December night when you were so rudely ripped out of your comfy home that you had decided you were NOT leaving!! Oh how all the other things have changed too! I often look at the incision to the place you once called home and tenderly touch it. Not because it hurts (although every now and then... especially after one of my spring sneezing bouts) but because it reminds me that you haven't ALWAYS been here. There are days when you laugh so hysterically that I can't or at least don't want to remember how my life was before you. But when I see that still healing incision across my gut I remember all the longing I felt to my core to concieve you and then the LONG 9 months we had to wait to finally meet you which seem so short now!!! I know there has to be a God because of you, I had my doubts while we were trying to get pregnant. I knew how good your daddy and I would be at being parents and I was worried; worried I would never get that chance. But apparently God was making sure that you would be here for us and am I ever glad he did!!! Now everything is perfect. No Daddy isn't home much, but we are trying to figure that whole thing out. But know that now and forever he loves you with all of his being... even if he doesn't say it often enough : ) You are still so little in most people's eyes but in mine and everyone who sees you on a regular basis you are not. You are over twice your birthweight and you are a basket of rolls!!! I even have to baby powder your chunky neck to keep it from getting too moist!!! To the world you are "Ladybug" but Ladybug to us you are the world!!!
Please even when you are an angry teenager don't EVER doubt that you are both wanted and loved! I don't know how to express that any other way but to repeat myself all the time.

Tonight you showed Momma your love back! I was playing with you on the floor and you gave the most hysterical laugh, one that had me nearly crying trying to etch that marvelous sound into my brain to be able to pull out at any time in the future that you are being nearly impossible for me. Before tonight you had reserved that full hearted laugh for Daddy but tonight Momma musta been just funny enough. You had tears running down your face from laughing so hard. I wish I had a video camera, I think that will be my next big purchase because I have to have one to be able to remember all these bittersweet firsts that you're going to be having soon! You are SOOO close to rolling from your back to your tummy and I can't wait to see it but also am hoping you'll save it for a weekend so Daddy can share that first with me.

Ladybug you are my first born, my love and as much as I can't wait to share all these "firsts" with you... can you slow it down just a touch?? That's not asking too much is it???

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