Bad Momma!!

Ok, I know I've said it before that we're pretty AP but today Bub informed me that he is sick of being unable to sleep in our bed because of Ladybug being in there (we have a king bed so plenty big but he can't get into a deep sleep because he's worried he'll roll over on her or something) So I had her take her nap in her crib (instead of the swing like normal) and I've put her to bed in her crib and I'm waiting for her to wake in a few like normal and I'll put her to bed in there again and then go to bed myself. When she wakes up to nurse again I'll bring her to bed with me pushing it further and further each day until she's spending the night in her own room (SCARY, I know) I was doing really well with only letting her stay with me until the sun came up until Bub was home all last week and he wanted to go to bed earlier than Ladybug and I normally do so I would fall asleep in our bed with her before she was asleep enough to move!! When I was pregnant and before this was one of my Never Shall I Ever... and then she got here!! I never would have expected to be so terrified of something so completely normal!!! But.........I am...... You can laugh......I do LOL
Alrighty Internet peeps I'm headed to bed
I'll let ya'll know how my re-training of Ladybug goes!! LOL

5 months

I wrote this on Saturday but haven't had the chance to post it so here it is :)

Dear Ladybug,


You're becoming such a big girl already, it kills me sometimes! You look at your Daddy and I with such awe and wonder and utter amazement that I can't believe you're only 5 months old!!!

You already know so much and are learning so much more!!! I would never have guessed you'd be so close to sitting up and wanting so bad to be standing!!! You have learned so much in the past weeks let alone month! You chatter consistently and constantly (something I know will NEVER stop now ;) LOL) you're rolling both from front to back and back to front but neither right after another... Once you've done 1 you get too pissed to do the other LOL :) so much of your Daddy it's not even funny.

You're getting more beautiful with each passing day and though we're together for every moment I often forget to stop and enjoy how much you've changed already in these past 5 months!

Ladybug please don't hate me for the "no's" that are coming now and will until you're grown. Please see that with each one Daddy and I are simply molding you into a lady. You may not come from much and might not be what everyone expects but you will at least know right from wrong and to me that's what a lady is. Somebody who knows right from wrong and is never too scared to speak about it without conviction!

Ladybug you are my biggest dream come true. No matter what happens or what you become it will all be worth anything and everything to be your Momma... And I thank God each day that he chose ME to be YOURS and YOU to be MINE!!!

Love always,

Momma

It's been far too long!!

Sorry it's been so long it's been a hectic couple a weeks!!! Haven't been able to work out so no McFatty Mondays until I'm feeling better. I haven't felt well for a couple of days now, not really sure why or what's going on but I know that I've been napping with Ladybug during the day instead of the usual cleaning/blogging during them :( I'm so exhausted but I'm starting to think it's this gloomy crap-tastic weather we've been having!!! So anyway we have started BLW with the Ladybug her first food was pizza crust LOL But since then she's had steamed green beans, steamed carrots, water (from straws and sippy-cups) and a little ice cream. She's also rolling over consistantly now!! She will go from front to back or back to front but will only roll over once not time after time so if she gets to her belly she just gets mad instead of rolling back over LOL she's definately got her Daddy's patience haha! Tomorrow we have her 5 month pictures when she'll wear her ladybug Gap shirt and a pair of jean shorts and have her bare tootsies showing LOL I'm even gonna paint her toes :-D

Thankful on Thursday

Ok, First of all y'all better be 'thankful' I'm even doing a blog post tonight LOL Just kiddin'! I was all cozied into bed tryin' to get some sleep before getting up 'early' (hey as a SAHM setting an alarm is a sin!!) When...SHIT I didn't blog...and it's Thursday!! Eh it can wait... no...I don't wanna be one of "those" bloggers, I already skipped last week. So what did I do? I started typing up my post on my BlackBerry... which proceeded to loose it... 'bout chucked my phone out the damned window LOL So I got my cozied ass up outta bed and came to do this!
I guess first things first I'm thankful I have a conscience that even when I really don't wanna do something and I know I should it'll harass me 'til I just give in and freakin' do it LOL
Secondly I'm thankful I have a daughter who is not only thriving or surviving she's becoming quite the little chunker!! She is now 15lbs 8oz which is the 90th percentile!!! But only 75th for height and 50th for head circumference (gee not gonna be short and round like her parents or anything is she LOL) P.S. I love our pediatrician and the A.R.N.P. we saw today... no problems with BLW or anything!!!
Lastly for the night I'm thankful that an old (see middle school/early high school) friend is giving me a second chance where I'm not right sure I deserve one with the way things went down... losing her was completely my fault but she's the one who facebooked me wanting to meet up and hang out... so to the Farmer's Market (while her hubby works and mine catches up on his beauty sleep) we will go with her son and my daughter in tow. I think I'm gonna wear Ladybug so that I'm not running over all the innocent bystanders with the stroller that I'm really not good at... especially while looking at stuff LOL

Bad Blogger!!! :)

That's me....bad blogger it's been a week and a half since my last post!!! I'm just gonna blame it on Bub since he was home destroying my house last week! LOL He came home friday and didn't leave again until last night...LATE last night! Now I'm not complaining by any means! I LOVE having my hubby home and being able to show him just how much the Ladybug is growing each day...But (you knew that was coming, right?) he has this habit of walking in the door and stripping down (yup right in front of the door) and then the next morning he rifles through everything in the dark to find what he wants and leaves. This all totally messes up my week!! I couldn't just clean one room a day like I normally do.. NO I had to clean up the tornado my husband had throughout the house... and then came the weekend! Normally our house is C.L.E.A.N. by this point and so I get weekend's "off" too (off cleaning anyways) but this week I shouldn't have taken those free days! Plus yesterday since he was leaving I had to go get groceries for both of us, and pack him and was going to take it to him. So I ran errands all day leaving my Monday-Clean the Living Room routine undone. Then came today... I know, I know LAZY but it was so pretty out I couldn't just stay cooped up so I took Ladybug to the park (I did clean the living room and bathroom so tomorrow I'll just add Kitchen to the Dining Room and I'll be caught up) but my house is still dirty and I'm trying to get ready to have a 10 year old and an 11 year old all summer (part of my errands yesterday and trying to get a plan down part of today) I'm just getting caught on how to do all this and have a clean house and I'm throwing a wrench in it! LOL
I'm going to practice homeschooling by helping my sister Tate, and my cousin... Let's call him East  ;) get ready for the 5th grade. So far I've found a website with some awesome math problems and suggestions and I've bought 2 copies of Double Fudge and Fudge-A-Mania by Judy Blume and also 2 copies of the BFG but have only found 1 of Matilda both by Roald Dahl. After we read and discuss Matilda we are going to watch the movie (which is old enough neither has seen it LOL) Any other Ideas?? We need to work on Math, reading comprehension, and handwriting. Oh and I just learned how to make it e-mail me if someone leaves a comment so I'll now be responding to comments : D 
Thanks to everyone who liked the way I look in a bikini that really helps my self-esteem...especially since 30 day shred isn't going so well anymore. I LOVED it but all the Jumping Jacks and other high impact exercises are really taking their toll on my knees and the push-ups are KILLING my carpal tunnel!!! I can't even do the push-ups anymore. But like I said I'll have the two kids besides Ladybug all summer and we all have season passes to the local theme park so I will literally be walking my but off LOL

I'm getting to bed before Ladybug wakes back up! Nitey Nite!!

A Day Late...But not a dollar short

Sorry I didn't do my McFatty Monday post yesterday!!! This week we're a bit off as Bub is home this week!!! So Today I decided to go ahead and try to do Level 2... big mistake!! I didn't get but a couple minutes in and the exercise they were doing (Walking push-up) KILLED my wrist I can tell it's my carpal tunnel but OUCh even typing this now is hurting!!! So guess I'm supposed to stay on level 1 a bit longer hope that once I'm supposed to do Level 2 I can!! I dunno how else to do this except maybe regular push-ups? Hmm sumthing for me to figure out :) I'm down about a half size and thanks for all the encouragement on me in my bikini!! I want to always be proud of the body God gave me even if I don't like the way it looks... How can Ladybug Love herself if her Momma can't do it? LOL So not much of a post today I'm trying to NAK and Ladybug is being difficult about it LOL

4 months!!!!

"Let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give them hope, Give them praise,
Give them love everyday.
Let 'em cry, Let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle.
Aw but let them be little"

-Billy Dean "Let them Be Little"

Oh my Ladybug how you've changed!! It's been 4 full months since that cold December night when you were so rudely ripped out of your comfy home that you had decided you were NOT leaving!! Oh how all the other things have changed too! I often look at the incision to the place you once called home and tenderly touch it. Not because it hurts (although every now and then... especially after one of my spring sneezing bouts) but because it reminds me that you haven't ALWAYS been here. There are days when you laugh so hysterically that I can't or at least don't want to remember how my life was before you. But when I see that still healing incision across my gut I remember all the longing I felt to my core to concieve you and then the LONG 9 months we had to wait to finally meet you which seem so short now!!! I know there has to be a God because of you, I had my doubts while we were trying to get pregnant. I knew how good your daddy and I would be at being parents and I was worried; worried I would never get that chance. But apparently God was making sure that you would be here for us and am I ever glad he did!!! Now everything is perfect. No Daddy isn't home much, but we are trying to figure that whole thing out. But know that now and forever he loves you with all of his being... even if he doesn't say it often enough : ) You are still so little in most people's eyes but in mine and everyone who sees you on a regular basis you are not. You are over twice your birthweight and you are a basket of rolls!!! I even have to baby powder your chunky neck to keep it from getting too moist!!! To the world you are "Ladybug" but Ladybug to us you are the world!!!
Please even when you are an angry teenager don't EVER doubt that you are both wanted and loved! I don't know how to express that any other way but to repeat myself all the time.

Tonight you showed Momma your love back! I was playing with you on the floor and you gave the most hysterical laugh, one that had me nearly crying trying to etch that marvelous sound into my brain to be able to pull out at any time in the future that you are being nearly impossible for me. Before tonight you had reserved that full hearted laugh for Daddy but tonight Momma musta been just funny enough. You had tears running down your face from laughing so hard. I wish I had a video camera, I think that will be my next big purchase because I have to have one to be able to remember all these bittersweet firsts that you're going to be having soon! You are SOOO close to rolling from your back to your tummy and I can't wait to see it but also am hoping you'll save it for a weekend so Daddy can share that first with me.

Ladybug you are my first born, my love and as much as I can't wait to share all these "firsts" with you... can you slow it down just a touch?? That's not asking too much is it???